summer rot

july is coming to an end. i feel sad and bitter. summer seems like the ripest of peaches, sweet and juicy, and i bite into it with all the excitement in the world just for my teeth to hit the pit in the middle. it’s hard and it hurts when i bite it. it tastes horrible too. the sweetness is still there, running down my chin and neck like blood, but it can’t mask the awful bitterness that’s at the core of it. i should’ve known it was there - it always is.

the air smells different when it’s this hot. i breathe it in and stare out the window. the man in the driver’s seat next to me isn’t my father in this moment; instead he’s a stranger, a passing silhouette in my life offering me a ride. once i get out of this car i will never see him again. i close my eyes. i dream of an escape.

maybe some day i will learn to chew slowly. my teeth will glide around the pit, never biting into it, and the bitterness will be gone.